......phinally home.

I would be honored to say officially.....i feel home. It's going on my 3rd year here in Philadelphia, and I continuously find myself admiring the city more and more. The people, the atmosphere, the food scene,the art, old architechture, the small town feel in a big city...what more could i ask for. I've told Eddie on more than one occasion that I'm in love with Philly. I want to live here...I want to raise a family around here. Not yet, of course! But, eventually...and if we leave, then I want to come back. It's the first place I've been, that I can see myself being comfortable, happy, and alive.

its def a peg leg kinda nite

so, i cant remember the last time i wrote on this thing...and i dont really know what has changed.  as you all know (and by all i mean the 2 of you) i only have one job..i still live in philly, i went to my dream concert this past fall, and have yet to visit the best friends i have ever had.  i know.  i suck.  as charlie waffles continuously claws at my toes, i realize that life doesnt seem to be as wonderfully awesome as people try to make it out to be.  My plans are slowly going down the drain; which is unfortunate because i honestly think they were very good plans.  Not that im giving up completely, but i have come to the point that i dont really know what to do next.  School...maybe, thats what i keep telling myself.  Italy perhaps...only if a certain someone will come with me.  West coast, is it really what i think it is?  Or do i stay here now...the place i said i would never return to.  Do i stay close to home, to be close to my family....to see Brayden grow up, or do i leave, do i live my life selfishly?  Growing up, i wanted to be married by 25 and have kids by 27...thats stil my plan.  But the person that would make that possible right now...has an ENTIRELY different agenda.  Not that im stressing, because well, im not there yet.  But i want answers.  i want to know.  When will the skies clear up?  I constantly catch myself dreaming of well, nothing more than the perfect life.  i need help getting it through my thick skull..that well, things just dont work out the way we want them to...not exactly anyway.  There are always changes, conflicts, detours if you must..and well, i have to learn to overcome them.  anyway...sorry for the babbling...but like i said..it is a peg leg kinda nite.  (they were all outta double bags.)  =)